It’s the middle of August as I write this. My mind has been in turmoil, swirling with emotions and nagging thoughts. Or at least, that was my state until last night. 

Two days ago, I had an appointment with my cardiologist. Hospital visits usually take five or six hours, but this one was surprisingly smooth. The doctor reviewed my tests and smiled. “Everything is under control. You can ease up—have a little ghee or snacks occasionally. See me in a year.” 

A whole year? That seemed too long, but he assured me it wasn’t. Relieved, my spirits soared. Fear about the side effects of my hormone injections had weighed heavily on me. Gaining weight has been tough on my psyche, but with the doctor’s reassurances, we celebrated with food from an upscale restaurant. It was a perfect day, ending with good sleep and sweet dreams. 

But yesterday, we met with my oncologist. Different hospital, same efficiency. Thanks to personal connections, we managed to get an appointment at short notice. The doctor greeted us warmly but mentioned that I’d gained weight—likely due to the injections. Then came the unsettling news: “Your blood sugar levels are up. You’re pre-diabetic now.” 

I reminded him that my cardiologist was pleased with my results. He nodded but cautioned, “We need to monitor this closely. If your sugar levels rise further, we may need to reconsider the injections.” 

My euphoric mood vanished, replaced by anxiety. On the way back, my wife, ever practical, said, “Why worry? Everyone has some health issues at this age. It’s not a crisis—we’ll manage with diet and exercise. Stop brooding, or you’ll only push your sugar levels higher.” 

Her words gave me some peace. After reflecting on it, I realized she was right. My sugar levels weren’t dangerously high, and there was still time to act. A prayer and a little faith helped me calm the storm within. 

The waves of anxiety have subsided. Now, I can take things one step at a time. 

Contd. 351. God Gives Man Disposes - Pleasurable Pain to Painful Pleasure