Finding fault with others is one of the easiest things in life. It requires little effort, and if we constantly criticize someone, we might even destroy their confidence—sometimes leading them to become worse than they were before. It’s possible they weren’t even at fault to begin with. Our fingers are quick to point at others but rarely at ourselves.

On the other hand, the art of appreciation is something that builds confidence and helps people grow. This skill comes naturally to some, while others cultivate it—whether in managing a household or running an organization. It’s a trait worth possessing.

Even when someone makes a mistake, is it necessary to pounce on them immediately? Consider this: would someone knowingly commit a blunder? It usually happens due to a lack of knowledge, carelessness, or inattention. Instead of attacking them, let the matter rest for a while. Later, have a quasi-friendly discussion and explain the consequences of their actions, highlighting where the mistake occurred.

Yes, if someone repeatedly makes the same mistake, more serious intervention may be required. But if someone does something commendable, even if imperfect, why not offer wholehearted appreciation? Let them know they’ve done a good job. The power of appreciation can vary depending on how well they performed, but it’s essential, especially for those who lack confidence. Such individuals are often afraid that whatever they do won’t be good enough. If we come across someone like this and see potential in them, we should build their confidence through genuine appreciation.

In my career, I recall two specific instances. One officer was handling loans, but I wasn’t satisfied with his performance. I sent word through a third party, telling him I saw potential in him but noted his lack of focus. I warned that if he didn’t improve, I would have him transferred from that department. The officer approached me for advice, and I pointed out both his strengths and weaknesses. Within a month, his performance improved drastically. He became more enthusiastic and even caught an error I was about to make. He went on to become a senior officer and has likely retired by now. 

Another instance involved a shy and diffident individual. He had trouble communicating, and people often made fun of him. I guided him slowly, helping him realize his analytical ability. As his confidence grew, his communication skills improved, and within a year, he had made significant progress as an officer.

During my time on a writing platform called Fanstory, peers would review each other’s work. Knowing the challenges of writing, they judged with kindness. Unless a piece was truly bad, negative comments were rare—and even then, they were mild. I noticed an improvement in my own writing as I received feedback. I’ll always remember a friend, Ms. M, whose comments were never negative. She had a natural talent for analyzing work and highlighting the good parts, showing the true power of appreciation.

Some of my relatives and friends have also encouraged me since I began writing these blogs, and their words of support have kept me motivated. 

Children, too, thrive on appreciation. You should see the joy on a child’s face when they’re praised for something they’ve done. I witness this with my grandchildren, and it inspires them to keep learning and trying new things. Appreciation for effort, more than for results, is key to fostering growth. 

That said, appreciation should never be given just for the sake of it. There must be something worthy of praise, whether it’s a small achievement or a sincere attempt.

One of my friends, much younger than me, started a Facebook group nearly a decade ago. She used to send me wholehearted compliments about my writing, which even at my age encouraged me to keep improving. In turn, I offered my own appreciation for her efforts, not as a gesture of reciprocity, but because she truly deserved it. I watched her grow as a writer right before my eyes.

So, do you appreciate this post?

Contd. 399. A Short Look at Myself