I feel sad—or perhaps you could say bad—for not having been born with a ‘kavacham’ like Karna. However, I was undoubtedly born with two unnecessary and unappreciated appendages: physical and mental. My eye issues and anxiety have yet to be resolved.

Where does this uninvited, troublesome guest called anxiety come from? I often wonder about the subtle differences between anxiety, worry, tension, and stress. The struggle to combat anxiety has been continuous and unceasing. At times, my efforts to fight anxiety seem to create even more anxiety.

One of my bosses, who was a hard taskmaster yet a good guide, often set impossible deadlines. However, I could be certain that if those deadlines were met, he would acknowledge and appreciate my efforts publicly. Though I did not seek recognition, I met these deadlines because the work needed to be completed on time.

Once, I was instructed to complete a task and rushed upstairs to my desk. This was common during those days; I would go up and down the stairs hundreds of times a day, often taking two steps at a time. In those moments, I was bubbling with energy driven by extreme anxiety after meeting with my boss. As I sat down, a fleeting thought skittered through my confused mind: I am going to do the job, and probably on time. So why this anxiety? Why can't I approach it in a relaxed manner?

In that moment, my mind calmed down, and my body relaxed. I realized I didn’t need stress to manage my work. I completed that task on time, which taught me an important lesson: if I want to, I can relax and escape from this mind-shackling anxiety.

This post, therefore, is about habits.

But habits don’t die easily; for me, they seldom do. This moment of enlightenment is often forgotten, and anxieties resurface. Occasionally, when I remember the sane thought that reluctantly entered my mind, I can relax. However, I could never convert this realization into a habit. When I am fortunate enough to be in a comparatively relaxed mood, I contemplate what causes these anxieties.

The causes are often simple.

Contd. 303. Bit Bites - Part 2