I can’t say for certain, but with so many people living under one roof, the possibility for differences of opinion certainly existed. However, the true measure of a Joint Family’s success was how it navigated those differences—whether with balance, understanding, and without breaking apart. If you think about it deeply, it all comes down to adjustment, acceptance, generosity, and broad-mindedness. It’s we who make things work or we who break them.

To be honest, I was never part of a large Joint Family myself. I have seen a few, though. My elder brother went to the US at a young age, but after my marriage and the birth of our sons, we stayed with my parents and sisters until they were married. It was more of a loose form of a Joint Family. Did we never have problems? Certainly not. Issues would arise, but after some arguments, they would be settled. With limited incomes and more members to support, that was the only way a family could survive.

Recently, a friend of mine shared how his father and uncle lived as a Joint Family. One of them was employed, while the other managed the family lands, distributing money and earnings fairly among a large number of family members. It was a well-functioning system, but of course, it wasn’t without challenges.

But then, we must ask: Did the women have equal rights? Did they have an equal say in family matters? Could they pursue what they wanted, or were they confined to the kitchen? Was space and consideration given to everyone, or only to the earning members? These are important questions to reflect upon.

Continued in 198. Broken Joints - Part 4