Both of my sons are now happily settled, and I am content too. I hope that the past hasn’t left a significant mark on their psyche.

Each of them has two children of their own. It’s interesting to reflect on the generational shifts: from my parents’ reluctance to push us to excel or even supervise our studies, I learned to do the exact opposite—constantly putting pressure on my kids. I believed that education was the only path to success in life, even though my own life disproves this notion, and I thought that excellence meant standing at the top.

But what have my sons learned from all this? They know that, in some ways, my approach helped them, though it came at a cost. They are well settled now, but they’ve transformed this experience into something different. They’ve realized that encouragement doesn’t have to mean constant pushing, nagging, or pressure. It can be about being present—sitting together, sharing the journey, feeling the ups and downs together, allowing the child to enjoy their childhood while gently guiding them to learn.

Excellence doesn’t always mean being at the top. Academics are not the same as professional success or personal fulfillment. What you do in your career and how you navigate life are what truly matter. Children need to develop skills beyond academics, like management, problem-solving, independence, decision-making, and taking responsibility. I see my sons fostering these skills in their children. They rarely put pressure on their kids but still provide support in their studies. Their interactions are more like friend-to-friend conversations rather than traditional parent-child dynamics.

They give their children freedom and place trust in them. Mistakes are pointed out calmly and without judgment. Their kids’ desires and interests are respected and supported wherever possible. Above all, they are enabling their children to grow into their own selves.

I am proud of my sons. They have found their own ways, striking a golden balance. They understand that each child is different and may need a unique approach. There can be no comparisons.

Now, as I sit in my recliner, I feel satisfied. My remorse has faded.

Continued in 80. Gardens, Crows, and Finches - Sound and Color - Part 1